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July 2005 ArchiveSunday, July 31, 2005The Mathematics of JulyWatch out, it's an epic. Oh, thank heavens. July is over. What made it suck? 1. It's hot. 2. Taxes. 3. Clients being turds. 4. Two long weeks in Minnesota. One I do not like hot weather. I can't think if it's over 80 degrees. I'll rarely complain about the cold, but I'll usually complain about the heat. Air conditioning? Funny you should ask. I have determined that I am air conditioner hospice. I am where hand-me-down, aging AC's go to die. Kent's behemoth was installed for one day. It choked out slightly chilled air. It tried. It just couldn't cool the lil' studio apartment anymore. I put it in the alley with a note saying it may be just right for cooling a small bedroom. I decided to suck it up and go without AC this summer. Sure, I could buy or inherit another air conditioner, but I'd still have to pay the $300 fee to use it. Since I only pay rent (utilities included), my landlords charge a fee to compensate for the electricity the AC is going to chow down. Dead AC + Two weeks in Minnesota + I'm trying to pay off debt = AC-less this summer. The tradeoff is going to the library and the coffeeshop to get cool, and I tend to catch up on all my emails on the cooler days when I can form thoughts easier. And don't get me on a tear about other people and the heat. Walking downtown these days makes me a rageaholic. No one else can think in the heat either and they all walk as slow as tortoises. I am so very intolerant and unkind in the heat. My antidote? Ice coffee and James Bond movies. Ahh... Last month I went to the Spy Museum in DC. Spy Museum + never having had seen a single James Bond movie = The Summer of Bond. Two What's worse than doing taxes in April? Why doing them in August, of course! This is the first time I'm filed an extension and it's truly delaying the inevitable. And delaying it into a hotter, crankier month. Tax deadline + 4 months = Tax deadline + 20+ degrees. Three My only problem with self-employment is harranging people to get paid on time. Out of last month's work, I have one client who paid early (thank you!), and two clients who have completely ignored the terms of the contract. The less said the better. If you hate your nine-to-fiver, at least say a little "thank you" for the regular paychecks. The little guy + ginoromous companies with black hole accounting departments = a drag and a half. Four Minnesota, ah, Minnesota. Mom has been wait-wait-waiting for my post about Minnesota. She knows what I'm going to say, so no family-pot-stirring. Minnesota was tough. I was up there to be with my Grandma Shirley while my mom, stepdad, aunt and uncle went to Canada. They had planned this trip a year in advance and the intervening year, Grandma was diagnosed with Parkinsons and while she's generally well, she can't cook or drive and needs help with stairs. So, my uncle thought of asking me to come up to be with her so they could go to Canada. It's the kind of request that if you can do it, you pretty much do it. So, I did. It was hard. I've got no problem with Grandma's limited mobility. I've got no problem with her mental slips. I don't have a problem with the tasks I did to help. I did have a problem with her negativity, and she can be mean. Backstory about me: I don't like negativity. I've had plenty in my life. Enough. I'm done. Simply, I think it's a waste of time and energy. Sure, things go wrong. Not everything is hunky-dory, but I'd rather spend my energy on solving problems rather than dwelling on them. And it's taken me a long time to learn to not anticipate problems, to deal with them when and if they present themselves. That's why you don't see a lot of moping on the site and why it's taken me two weeks to post about Minnesota. Yeah, yeah, I know this is a cranky post all over, but it's the exception, not the rule. Backstory about me and my grandma: I've never been close to my grandma. Partly because we often lived away from each other, partly because of one incident. When I was little, maybe 5 (7?) we all went swimming in Silver Lake. Silver Lake has a slide that's out in the deep water. I would never had gone out to the big, white slide. But Grandma took me out there, telling me that she'd catch me at the bottom. I climbed that big, scary ladder. I went down the slide. Grandma didn't catch me. On purpose. I went under the water, opened my eyes and was terrified to see the brown, green murky water. I came up gasping and my Grandma was laughing at me. This resulted in: - being very, very uncomfortable in water. I eked by on our required middle school swimming sections in middle school. I didn't conquer my discomfort (not quite a fear) until I slowly taught myself to swim when I was 23. Now I'm no champion swimmer, but I'm much stronger and more comfortable. - not feeling warm and fuzzy about my Grandma. AND - Grandma is negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative. Dozens of little negative comments all day long. Nothing directed at me, just clouds of negativity around me, all day long. She latches onto anything negative, and she anticipates the negative in anything. Watching a movie with her is like going through a Choose Your Own Adventure book while she chooses each of the most disasterous options. In the beginning of Legally Blonde, while Elle is getting ready for her big date, Grandma says, "They [her sorority sisters] are playing a trick on her." A trick? Huh? And when a Austin Powers commericial came on we had this exchange: Grandma: I don't like him. Me: Hmm? You do or don't? Grandma: I don't like him. He's silly. On my suggestion to watch Trading Spaces: Grandma: No, they act too silly on that show. Wow, she can make silly sound just despicable. And she was mean to Numo. When I showed her Numo's face, she blew into it. Then every time Numo came up in conversation with company, she'd proudly declare, "I blew in his face!" Several times she'd poke at Numo's house while he was sleeping. Finally, I said, "Grandma, tonight I'm going to come into your room and poke you while you sleep." No response. Even though I wasn't Grandma's target, per se, I'm a hyperobservant human sponge, so it's very hard for me to tune this stuff out. Boy, I was soaked with negativity. I felt depressed and heavy and totally isolated. Very, very unlike my Chicago life. Grandma's negativity was just so opposite of my experience. But a few days short of my return I figured it out. And I completely and utterly don't mean this to sound mean or judgemental. It clicked - Grandma has very little education and relatively little life experience. She's negative and belittles things because it's her way of controlling and making sense of all the things outside of her small peephole on life. Tiny view of the world + 4 hours/day of soap operas + 3 hours/day of network news = recipe for negativity. Aha. It was a perspective making trip. It felt like a look at the parallel universe of what my life would have been like had I stayed in Minnesota. I'm supremely thankful and proud of the life I've created for myself in Chicago. I'm very thankful for the education I've had and that I continue to educate myself. I am thankful that I get out in the world and travel and live in a great city. And it's my goal that if I make it to 75, that I have 75 years of experiences and knowledge to look back on, and not fear. This story doesn't have a cozy, made-for-tv movie ending between my Grandma and I, but at least I learned something and confirmed a lot about my direction in life. 31 days of July = Over posted on 7/31/2005 09:17:00 PM Thursday, July 28, 2005Super Summer DayIn a lugubrious month, I had a lovely, fun day today. Not surprisingly, it included my good friend Billy. We hadn't had a day of adventure for awhile, so we set a day and we met at the Picasso in Daley Plaza at 10:00.  The friendly face looking up at me from the ground. Yeah, I added the smile.  Red windows in the city hall building. What goes on behind those curtains?  Stumped with what to do, I got the kernel for our adventure. Billy had mentioned he had never ridden the free Chicago trolleys. So, I printed maps and we were off. Zoo-bound with a packed trolley full of mothers and screeching children. This is a trolley ceiling window, pre-horde.  Here at the Lincoln Park Zoo, is the North American Handyman in his natural habitat. A common behavior is lightbulb changing. Observe.  Had to see the penguins. Hello, penguin. We saw a few animals, each ate a pretzel with mustard and then we were back on the trolley to Navy Pier.  We lunched. These are Billy's fries.  Shout out to my new Keen shoes. The live up to their name. Remarkably my Birkenstocks started bloodletting in blisters! Perhaps, they are P.O.ed and jealous that I'm spending all my time with the Dankos? Summer-shoe-less, I bought these Keens. Comfy. After Navy Pier, we joined up with Billy's better half, Tuesday, to watch their son, Jay's summer theater program performance. Much fun. And the big Sly and the Family Stone assisted big finale had us all a bit choked up. *sniff* *sniff* We headed to Millenium Park for a concert.  A neat watery reflection on the dry brick wall of this building on the way to the Park.  Lacy leaves seen lying on my back listening to the concert. I think I fit half the summer in one day. Now onto working on more of my summer list at left. posted on 7/28/2005 10:14:00 PM Saturday, July 16, 2005Good Morning, Starshine!I saw a 2:00 pm showing of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this afternoon. I was dubious of it, and I'm always dubious of Tim Burton. Mini-review: I really enjoyed it. I liked Johnny Depp's take on Wonka (and I was terrified by the Michael Jackson comparisons, but I didn't key into that enough to be bothered). I dug the Wonka family backstory. My absolute favorite moment was when Willy Wonka greeting the 5 kids and the 5 puh-puh-parents with "Good morning, starshine. The Earth says hello." That completely cracked me up. posted on 7/16/2005 12:44:00 AM Tuesday, July 12, 2005I am home. I am happy to be home. So very, very happy. After some rest, James Bond movies and sushi, I'll explain.posted on 7/12/2005 01:04:00 PM Friday, July 01, 2005Heya, folks. I'm in Minnesota presently. Numo and I had a long day of traveling yesterday, but we're both here safe and sound. I'm here hanging out with my Grandma Shirley. She was diagnosed with Parkinsons (she doing relatively well in the grand scheme of things) after my mom, stepdad, aunt and uncle booked a trip to Cananda. So, I am here helping her so they can enjoy some R&R across the border.I've got my laptop and two sewing projects (a dress and a quilt) to work on! Happy to be in the land of AC and cable teevee. Have a super 4th, for the U.S.ers in the crowd. posted on 7/01/2005 04:44:00 PM |
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