October 2002 Archive

Thursday, October 31, 2002

I've been knocking through some substantial apartment plans. It's a bit like my snowglobe has been shaken, but reorganizing the snowflakes is going well. Last night I reassembled my desk and did a little touch up with paint. Today I moved the stuff back in, but only moving in what's been cleaned out and organized. Not my usually Pile Relocation Program. Today I was filling two drawing with art supplies. I realized that I had 5 bottles of Elmers glue once I had all the glue is the same place. 1 7.625 oz, 1 4 oz and 3 travel sized 1.25 oz'ers. So the three lil' guys got condensed and I'm down to three all residing in the glue drawer. Ahhh... What a wonderful sense of accomplishment to feel like the master of your domain, even if it's as banal as safe, non-toxic, white glue.

Oh yeah, and I'm now playing accordion in a square dance band.

Yep, you heard me right - I'm now playing accordion in a square dance band. My good friend Zebulun asked me to join a new musical venture. Playing some very basic accordion in a square dance band. Since I'm a true novice I was scared. Whenever I feel scared about something new, I think, "I've got to do this." Then other aspects of my life and goals dissuaded me. I tried to decline and Zebulun nudged. I'm very glad he did. Tonight I had my first rehearsal with Ann(e?), Anthony, Ethan and Zebulun - The Golden Horse Ranch Square Dance Band. My mission is straightforward - back up rhythm with the bass buttons on the accordion - add texture. Ok, I can handle that. I was feeling pretty awkward when I arrived, knowing my relatively few hours logged in on any sort of instrument. There was a great casual atmosphere in the room, that definitely helped my Type A nerves. I played more than I expected and the buttons came pretty easily. Don't expect any solos anytime soon, but tonight was a good kickoff for me.

And besides, I shouldn't freak out too much by new challenges because I've got two big strengths on my side - I'm a fast learner and a hard worker.

New soil being tilled. Pooped out but feeling good.

TeeVee PeeOhVee
I found NOW's Watch Out, Listen Up! 2002 Feminist Primetime Report very interesting. It grades television on gender composition and diversity, violent content, sexual exploitation and social responsibility. Happy to see favorites like Law and Order and My Wife and Kids fare well, and see where other favorites rate well in some categories, poorly in others. I highly recommend taking a gander.

posted on 10/31/2002 12:09:32 AM

Monday, October 28, 2002

Caffeine Epilogue
The weaning off of caffeine was successful! One skull-crushing headache and a couple low-grade ones. I got off pretty easy. Now I enjoy a Coke every once in a while, versus inhaling it. At this very moment I'm treating myself to a Vanilla Coke. Mmmmm...

Painting Machine
Yesterday morning, I primed all the pieces of the behemoth desk. It took about 5 hours, so I was not excited about the 2 more coats of yellow to follow. I've got the multitasking gene, so it was very boring just to paint. So, I listened to an hour of This American Life online, while I downloaded "Learn German in Your Car" from Audible.com. Then I practiced some very basic German while I painted. My vocab from 1992 is holding up pretty well.

"to paint...

malen...

malen..."

I told Jim about my Deutschlernen while I painted and he bluntly said, "You are crazy."

Today, I tackle the first coat of yellow. I painted one piece last night and boy oh boy do I love that yellow!

Silence of the Brandies
Dude. Nearly every channel of my copious cable package is showing horror movies. Blech. There's too many dark things lurking in my brain to feed it scary movies. Last night Silence of the Lambs was on and since I hadn't seen it in ages, I watched it again. I watched it while I reassembled my futon frame. In first scene between Clarice and Hannibal there's a close up on Anthony Hopkin's face. His mug fills the screen and his maniacal expression comes closer. Even that made me back up, a lil' scared. Between the slightly different sleeping arrangements (vs. futon on floor) and the thriller, I broke my brain. I dreamt that long ago I killed someone, couldn't remember who or how and I was trying to downplay the fact. Yuck.

Posted on 10/28/2002 01:12:19 PM

Saturday, October 26, 2002

I am moving mission control because I'm rearranging the whole apartment. A huge part of that is moving the ten foot long desk and painting the sucker. So my computer is in it's temporary home until then. The next move should be a breeze and I look forward to some serious cord control.

Jim and I had an adventure at the hardware store today. One thing on my list was getting the paint/primer/brushes for the desk. I finally decided on a bright yellow. I took my Pantone book with me, like the designer cliche I am. It was not needed because B13 was shining from the swatch display. The paint department man was very helpful and we were on our way. On our walk back I looked down and saw that the name of the color was...

Let's Go Yellow.

Rock fuckin' on.

Posted on 10/26/2002 10:08:32 PM

Friday, October 25, 2002

2. What is your favorite Halloween treat? I'm trying to remember what I hoarded from my plastic pumpkin head as a kid. Hmmm...Milky Ways? I did like Smarties and Dum Dums even though they were prolific and cheap. Maybe because both had to do with intelligence. :^) Now I'm going through an unexpected peanut butter kisses thing. Hated those as a tyke.

3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume. Hell, yes. Best? Well the Brand-A-Tron 2000 was pretty friggin sweet.

But I think my favorite costume moment was Halloween 1995. I was working on a one-women art show at the Forum at Grinnell (not a prestigious thing, you just sign up for a time slot). Rather than doing a retrospective of stuff from classes, my overambitious self decided to create a new body of work. The show was called True Love and was all mixed media, mostly 3D.

So, Halloween snuck up on me during my fevered production for the show. I thought, "Ok, lessee what we have." I ended up wearing from head to toe: A pink fake fur pillbox hat bordered with baby doll legs (that corresponded to arms used for a piece) that looked a bit like a crown with the legs pointing up, thick Buddy Holly glass over a very creepy fabric human face mask (imagine muslin stretched and starched over a face form, painted pink with simple features), a pink chiffon scarf tied around my neck, pink flannel baby doll dress made for the show with nipples attached out of polymer clay, big fat red industrial rubber gloves, white tights and black mary janes.

I was some rosy-colored freak.

I went to the all-campus party. Even though it was tough to see through the glasses/mask combo, I would occasionally catch someone just stopped staring in awe.

But the crowning moment was when folks were invited to the stage for the costume contest. One by one people would walk out and a gymnasium full of drunk college students would cheer uproariously. The dj asked me what my costume was. Um. Hmm. Since I just through it together I hadn't thought of what I was, other than costumed. I blurted out "Sexual deviant." I was taking a Social Deviance class at the time.

As I walked out to the middle of the stage, the DJ said, "And here's a sexual deviant." The audience went from 60 to 0 over a few moments, from screaming and hollering to one giant collective "Ugh."

Incredible.

4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events? Not at all. I don't get entertained by being scared. When I was little I was already afraid of everything. Didn't need to add more anxiety. When I was in first grade, my mom and dad volunteered to help with the Pinewood Elementary Haunted House. They made a very snazzy costume of my dad as a swamp monster. A long stringy wig, ghoulish makeup, dyed green and brown gauze. I felt it important to go through the haunted house to see dad, or someone felt it for me. I was miserable through it until toward the end I saw my dad and gave him a big Howdy. He broke character to shush me.

5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year? Sadly, no. Last year I made a kick butt moth costume to wear to two parties. I wasn't ready for the first and I was given wrong directions to the second. Unfortunately, it didn't get an audience until I made a little egreeting out of it. No parties this year. No biggie, since I like the costume-making much more than the party-going.

Go here for more Friday Five info.

Posted on 10/25/2002 06:51:10 PM

Monday, October 21, 2002

The positivity and sharing of the weekend, reminded me of the Xtc Song, We're All Light, from their album Wasp Star:
"And I won't take from you

Don't you know
'bout a zillion years ago
Some star sneezed, now they're paging you in reception
Don't you know
Jack and Jill-ion years ago
Some dinosaur dropped the pail when it saw our reflection

Don't you know
We're all light
Yeah, I read that someplace
Don't you know
We're all light
Yeah, I read that someplace
So you won't mind if I kiss you now
Before indecision can bite
Don't you know in this new Dark Age
We're all light

Don't you know
At your fingertips arrayed
there's a universe of atoms that thinks you're real something
Don't you know
Just a couple of lips away
There's an revolutionary bean-feast whose insides are jumpin

Don't you know
We're all light
Yeah, I read that someplace
Don't you know
We're all light
Yeah, it's a bumper sticker someplace
So you won't mind if I kiss you now
We may hear the angels recite
Don't you know in this new Dark Age
We're all light

And I won't take from you what you can't take from me
And I'll leave nothing here that you can't use upon your trip
And I won't take from you what you can't take from me
And I'll leave nothing here but love and milk a' plenty for your tea

Don't you know
Upon the pillion of time's bike
We roar onto the stage and too soon we're dead center
Don't you know
Buffalo Bill-ions raised his sight
He's picking up the whole herd as soon as we enter
So you won't mind if I kiss you now
And maybe come on in for the night
Don't you know in this new Dark Age
We're all light
We're all light

And I won't take from you
what you can't take from me
And I won't take from you
(you know where you itch, is a little tiny switch, and if you let
me in, I can show you just the pin, that you put in the slot and the
element gets hot, and the stuff just pours out)
And I won't take from you
what you can't take from me
(all we're light)
(kiss me now, kiss me now)

And I won't take from you
what you can't take from me
And I won't take from you
what you can't take from me

posted on 10/21/2002 12:09:58 AM

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Amen.

I was putting away dishes just now and totally digging the way everything fits in my cupboard and that I have plenty of dishes and how much I like each and everyone. Very satisifying. A few weeks ago, I was wigging out about money, but then I started looking around my apartment and thinking, "It's not like I'm wanting for anything." There's things I want to do, but those greatly outnumber things I want to have.

I picked up some utensil, I can't remember what exactly, and thought, "Unless I break this thing, I don't have to think about buying another one of these for nearly forever."

Enough is plenty.

Posted on 10/16/2002 12:59:56 PM

For you, a list of adjectives:
useful
wrong
vaudevillian
tenor
delightful
cocoa
fast

posted on 10/16/2002 11:34:57 AM

Monday, October 14, 2002

26 Miles
A big Congratulations to my friend Jarrell McAlister, who completed his first marathon yesterday, the Chicago Marathon! I never thought watching a marathon could be so much fun until I tagged along to the inline skating marathon in Duluth this summer. So, when good friends Diane and Peter Durand said they were coming into town to cheer Jarrell on, I invited myself along, along with Jarrell's mom, Rena (Rina?). Absolutely remarkably, we managed to catch Jarrell, his father Ed, and Ed's cohort Gary at 5 places in the race, out of 37,500 runners and over a million spectators!

posted on 10/14/2002 10:06:57 AM

Friday, October 11, 2002

So, all of a sudden, I'm going. Only 3 days, including travel, so it won't disrupt my Chicago schedule much at all.

And, darn it, being appreciated feels good.

Posted on 10/11/2002 06:12:50 PM

"Brandy is a sofa that sorts your mail, is built and maintained by tiny nano-robots and induces lucid dreaming."

Dude, I could SO use that. Especially the mail sorting part.

Posted on 10/11/2002 10:19:27 AM

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Caffeine Conflict
Day 3 on the campaign, and already I can't say I'm going cold turkey. 20oz Diet CokeDay 1, 20oz Day two vs. the typical 48oz/day. None yet today. Ugh. I feel like a sloth. I keep debating back and forth about it. On one hand, being addicted to anything is bad. It's bad for my teeth. I hate the headaches I get when my cola-ingesting-cycle is off. It's relatively expensive (since I normally only drink water or oj besides Diet Coke). On the other hand, Diet Coke is the harshest substance I put in my body, and it's not all that bad in the grand scheme of things. It makes me feel more awake than I feel now!

I just wanna sleeeeeeeeeep.

Work No More
I'm an online quiz junkie, and I just found this. Step slowly away from the computer...

posted on 10/9/2002 11:23:59 AM

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

In the hallways there are some closets that access the plumbing. I had been using one of these as storage until the management decided to clear them all out for easier access to said plumbing. So, one night I'm schlepping out all my stuff and trying to accommodate it in the apartment. At one point I'm moving some wood drawing boards. A gigantic cockroach scurries out from the boards. I'm totally startled. This thing is huge, it's back's about 1 1/2". And it's fast. It's running around looking for cover, and it thinks I'm the only cover, so it's comin' at me, trying to get under my feet! I'm darting around, not wanting a jumbo cockroach to crawl under my feet. Soon it's turbo-butt find shelter under the trim on the other side of the hallway.

Next, I instantly feel sorry for my neighbor who's likely to be greeted by this ma cockroach whose hanging out in his door jamb.

Back to schlepping. On my next trip to the hallway, the cockroach is circling around up on the wall, obviously disoriented and trying to find a next home. I zoom into my kitchen and get a jar. After some cat-and-mouse/person-and-cockroach, I get the cockroach in the jar and kill it in the freezer. I have heroically saved my neighbor and I any altercations with this wailed cockroach.

One cockroach is an anomaly.

Now I get to thinking that it's strange that I've never seen these huge cockroach in my apartment, but that they are just a few feet away past the wall adjoining my kitchen and this closet. Not even cockroach poop to be seen. Then I start imagining the ecosystem of my apartment - the giant brown cockroach get the plumbing closets, spiders control the ceilings in the apartments, the silverfish own the radiators and the mice get the insides of the walls. And the people and their pets live in between.

Last week, I was walking down my hallway, and in front of the same closet is a gigantic cockroach, dead, six little feet up in the air. Made me wonder if it had died while climbing the wall, or if they somehow flip over on their backs to die - for the obvious comedic effect.

Two cockroaches is a coincidence.

Just this morning, I was standing outside of the closet, zoning out waiting for the freight elevator to take me down to the laundry room. I was thinking about how tired I feel sans caffeine. Just then another gigantic cockroach comes zipping out from under the closet door. Realizes I'm there and zips back the other way.

Three cockroaches is a pattern.

Now, I'm convinced that the if I opened that door there would be a whole campus of giant cockroaches - matriculating, partying, loving, living. I'm afraid that every time I wait for the freight elevator, I'll have my eyes affixed to the space between the door and the floor.

Posted on 10/8/2002 09:56:18 AM

Saturday, October 05, 2002

Martha, Martha, Martha
On a whim I picked up Christopher Byron's book, Martha, Inc. at the library. I'm on Chapter 9 of 22 and I am completely hooked.

Previously, my Martha Stewart stance was this - I like the do-it-yourself-ness of the craft and housekeeping projects, disinterested in the frou-frou status symbol stuff like collecting silver, or cooking something fancy, or throwing a big soiree. I never read Martha's letters in the magazine, so her presence is less felt in magazine for me. Whereas, I'm ambivalent about the show. I like the project segments, but the tours and interviews have an off-putting dynamic between Martha and guests. I'm not quite of the age (a tad too young) to be irate about what Martha Stewart did to Feminism. And since I adore making stuff and am good at it, I don't feel inadequate by the projects. As for the woman herself, I respect what she's accomplished, but I couldn't imagine hanging out with her.

So, when someone says "Martha Stewart" I don't roll my eyes, breathe fire, jump to her defense or sing her praises.

Now I'm reading the book, because I wanted to know more about how an individual becomes an ubiquitous brand. Turns out to be Conradian, very much the fascination of the abomination. Byron is putting the pieces together in an interesting way, but it feels a bit like the rubbernecking. I can't turn away! I've known several people in my past of the same controlling, hyper-critical, duplicitous archetype. Happily, none of them are in my life anymore. I don't think I'll see Ms. Stewart the same way again. The light cast on her has dimmed and is much murkier. I keep thinking, "Geez, I hope her daughter turned out ok."

Caffeine-B-Gone
The Diet Coke coffer has run dry. Since my work/stressload is relatively light right now, I'm attempting to cut my caffeine intake cold turkey. Normally, I would have drank (drunk?) 3 can so far today. I'm not looking forward to the inevitable caffeine withdrawal headaches. Curious to see how long it takes to ride the transition out.

Posted on 10/5/2002 01:59:12 PM

The Many Moods of Me
The big round thing on top of my shoulders was in danger of turning into a giant crabapple as of late. Too much stasis, too much stuff in limbo, too much worrying, too little money.

Then I got off my ass and did something. Anything: making a linoleum cut halloween card , inventorying all my rubber stamps for sale, working on the online store, baking cookies , websurfing marathons, playing games that'll make you crazy, finding future projects.

Like that Newton guy said, a object in motion stays in motion. So, things are moving and my mood has lifted a bit.

Posted on 10/5/2002 01:18:41 PM

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

Gay as You Wanna Be
Last night I learned that wearing pigtails is a lesbian signifier. Who rarely leaves the house without a pair of pigtails? Me. Who's a lesbian? Not me. I'm reminded of Kara warning me once long ago that I was wearing a particular cut of tank top that was apparently Standard Issue Dyke Wear. When I was in college, Scott and Maggie were throwing a GLB party, and I was invited as the token Straight. After awhile I asked them, "You know I'm straight, right?" One of them replied, "Yes, but you'd make such a cute little lesbian."

I'll give them that.

I used to spend a lot of mental energy worrying about such things. The policy is to not worry about what people assume unless I actually want to have sex with them. And this pigtail thing last night made me sigh and shrug, "Ok, I can't be surprised that folks assume I'm gay." Fundamentally, I'm not going to change my style to accommodate what people might think I am. But I defiantly won't be wearing any color-coded bandanas hanging out of my back pockets.

And for the record, I took the Channel Four Gay-O-Meter and I'm 50% Gay, "a well-adjusted hetero-babe." Whatever that means.
Posted on 10/1/2002 11:28:53 AM